


Beautiful

by spookysu



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Kuchisake-onna, Monsters, Youkai, Yôkai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 05:29:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13000854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookysu/pseuds/spookysu
Summary: A kuchisake-onna waits for her next victim outside of the bar, but doesn’t expect what comes out instead.





	Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [penlex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/penlex/gifts).



 

 

 

She didn't know why she was here, or why she did what she did.

But did it matter?

Sometimes, things just were.

Night after night, she wandered her dying city, starving for something...but no matter whose flesh she had torn apart, no matter whose blood met her lips, she felt an emptiness inside. She knew she was angry about something, starving for revenge, but nothing would satiate the growls of her stomach.

Feeling nothing was easier.

Routines made the numbness easier, too. She could just go into autopilot, asking the questions she always asked, going through the motions of the kill like any other predator of the city, yet unlike the gang members and serial killers that lurked the night, she lacked the very human passion their kills would execute.

"Am I beautiful?" she would ask every man and woman she came across. Usually she would wait til they were drunk, leaving the bar and heading to the streets to call their taxi, or to venture the treacherous walk home.

She usually got one of three responses.

The first normally came from the high-maintenance ladies, the ones donned in the highest of fashion, pretending to be too engrossed in their multiple phones to pay her any attention. Of course, ignorance wasn't an option, in her eyes. She would be acknowledged as she never was before.

Never was before?

How did she know that?

She didn't even remember her own name.

Regardless, she would follow these ladies to their homes. Sometimes, she noticed they made stops to different men's apartments, engaging in sex without any emotion before venturing home.

Once they thought they were safe, she would destroy them.

She liked to lurk in their closets, behind their shower curtains, somewhere they wouldn't check before jumping to them, tearing off the mask on her face before demanding their pretentious eyes to dare meet hers. Usually, they would scream, and she would be sure to make those screams drown with the gurgling of their blood. She would feast on their flesh then, sometimes crying into the raw carcass beneath her, wondering what it was that drove her to be like this.

It was the only times she let her emotions through.

The second type of response she got was from the drunken businessman, usually-she tried not to stereotype, but stupid humans made it nearly impossible-and when her mask was on, they reassured her, yes, she was very beautiful. Sometimes, they asked where she was headed. Other times, they asked if she wanted to spend time in their apartments.

Once they came closer for a better look, she would pull back the mask, revealing just how wide her mouth was, just how plagued she was with her true hideousness. She would then repeat her question. The ones who lied and said yes would be cut with scissors-how did she even get the scissors?-their mouth now sliced from ear to ear just as hers was. The ones who said no would suffer the same fate as the ones who ignored her: followed home, slaughtered, and devoured.

She didn't cry as often for their deaths.

The third response was rare, and usually came from awkward young women-occasionally men, though this was even rarer. They'd be hugging their oversized sweaters and shuffling awkwardly. They usually agreed that yes, she was beautiful, but once her face was fully revealed, they would respond with the strangest things.

"I don't know."

"Do  _you_  think I'm beautiful?"

"Cool makeup!"

And these perplexed her.

This wasn't the way things used to be...not that she remembered clearly how things used to be, anyway. This broke her routine of endless murder, of avenging her mysterious anger.

So she usually just let them go. She would feel a strange...panic, almost...rise inside her chest, tears stinging her eyes and slipping down her cheeks to her wide lips. There was a tingle in her fingertips that told her she NEEDED to kill...she just wasn't sure why.

She was pondering this as she waited outside of the traditional sake den listening to the sounds of laughter and smell the scent of warm food and sake, and a wave of jealousy overcame her heart.

_I'll feel that warmth when I tear out their innards_ , she told herself. She remembered-vaguely-being something resembling a human woman, linking arms with a man she loved, being served drinks inside a tavern like that...was that the warmth she was craving? Did she want to repeat the past?

Maybe it was a fantasy. She wasn't sure if she would ever know the truth.

"I'll see you at the university, okay?" a young woman was calling out to her friends. They were parting ways before the entrance to the tavern, a group of college-aged adults waving from down the sidewalk as they chased down a cab. The woman then continued down the path, shrugging a backpack over her shoulders and zipping up her winter coat.

It was snowing. She felt some degree of cold-as her arms were crossed and she craved warm flesh-but not to the degree of needing a puffy winter coat. She couldn't help but wonder, if she ever  _was_  human, if she needed something like that back then.

It didn't matter. This woman was walking toward her, and would make a perfect first victim of the night.

"Do you think I'm beautiful?"

The woman lifted her eyes.  _She_  was definitely beautiful, with the way her curly black hair framed her angular face, with the way her leggings and oversized hoodie somehow enhanced just how curvy she was. She wasn't sure how that was possible...wasn't it the fashion to hide curves under clothes?

"Uh, I'm sorry, I don't...pay for sex. I can give you a tip, though." The woman scrambled for her purse slung over her shoulders and handed her a fistful of yen. "Here, that should help." She gave her a polite bow and started to walk away.

"Wait."

The woman paused. "I'm sorry, I need to go…"

"I don't think you understand what I am."

"You're...a prostitute, right?" She gave a nervous giggle. "Kudos to you for being brave enough to ask a woman. I figured prostitutes only go for men."

Angrily, she tore off her mask. " _I'm not a fucking prostitute_!" This was all wrong. Everything wasn't happening according to plan. There was a plan for a reason! She was a monster of order!

The woman went pale. She didn't scream, didn't run, just stared.

And she cried.

She was sure it went against the human's instincts, but she embraced her, holding her thin, cold body close to hers, sobbing against her chest. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I didn't realize you were a  _kuchisake-onna_."

She knew she could easily tear this woman from limb to limb, but she decided against it. Instead, she awkwardly patted her back, ignoring the growls of her stomach. "I'm a what?"

The woman looked up. "You mean...you don't know what you are?"

Slowly, she shook her head.

She wiped away stray tears, smearing the trail of mascara it left in its wake. "Surely, you know you're not human."

"Of course."

"Do you know...what happened to you?"

Angry tears spilled down the kuchisake-onna's face. "I have no reason to explain any of this to you!" She pulled her scissors from her purse and held them to one side of the human's face.

The human stepped back, hands up in surrender. "I just want to help you!"

She narrowed her eyes. "There is no helping me now. There is no going back." Yet her hands shook, betraying her bravado. She could feel the metal of the scissors slipping from her quivering fingers. "I stand here and I kill and...that's what I am."

"Is there someone you're trying to find?" The human cautiously tilted her head. "Maybe you should go after your true target instead of letting out your anger on those who are innocent and don't deserve it." The human girl dared a step forward. "Your kind of nonhuman entities...you're driven by jealousy, by rage. Someone did you wrong...a man, was it? Try to remember."

"I can't!" she wailed.

"What's your name?"

Never had the youkai been asked such an odd, confusing question. What was her name, anyway? What could it have ever been? "I...don't know…" She lowered her scissors in confusion.

The woman shook her head. "You know what? I have a better idea." She held out her hand. "My name is Kiyoko. Let's give you a name, shall we?"

"Like what?"

She shrugged, still holding out her hand stubbornly. "It can be whatever you want.." She gave a tiny bow.

"Why do you want to help me?"

"What do I have to lose?"

"Your life."

"Heh." Kiyoko shrugged. "It's not like that matters too much. I'm just here to help others. You know what name would suit you?"

"What?"

"Saya."

"Why?"

She shrugged and averted her eyes. "It just...seems like you. Do you like it?"

The hairs on her arms stood up, but in a pleasant way. "Yes. I do."

"Then it's nice to meet you, Saya."

"Likewise." She took her hand. "I still don't know why you're helping me."

"I have resources that may help you. Have you met a satori before?"

Saya shook her head.

"You youkai don't hang out with each other? Let's walk, shall we? Promise not to kill me?"

"Yes."

Kiyoko laughed nervously. "Why don't you walk beside me, to be on the safe side?"

"I'm not going to kill you, Kiyoko-san."

"Just Kiyoko."

"Kiyoko. What's a satori?"

"They're a type of mind-reader. They're excellent at unveiling the mysterious. Although accepting the present is going to be the true key to accepting yourself, you still might want to understand what made you the way you are."

"How do you know so much about this sort of thing?"

She laughed. "I'm what you might consider a scholar. I study unnatural phenomena. Things that don't make sense in the world. Creatures like you."

"Why?"

Kiyoko met Saya's eyes. "Because all souls matter, do they not? We can't just psychologically value humans while undermining everyone else."

"I guess I really picked the wrong victim."

Kiyoko gave her arm a squeeze. "No, you picked the right one, because now, you're beginning the journey of becoming your best self. Now, come along. I'm going to introduce you to an old friend."

* * *

 

The old friend of Kiyoko's lived deep in the rougher part of the city, in one of the seemingly-abandoned tiny apartments on the top floor. Kiyoko, appearing unafraid, climbed the rickety stairs of the side, and Saya couldn't help but notice just how terrifying the view was up there. The wind whipped her hair into her face, and Saya struggled to hold onto her mask to keep it from billowing away in the wind.

"She won't like us coming through the door," Kiyoko yelled toward Saya, her voice muffled with the wind. "Let's climb through the window here."

Saya just wanted to get off of the stairs, and if a window was going to be the way out, then so be it. She felt as though she could see the entire city from where she was, from the rice farms on the outskirts of town to the towering tengu trees, from the tiny shops to almost-leaning skyscrapers. The view was making her terribly nauseous, so she ducked down and followed Kiyoko through the partially-opened window.

The inside of the apartment was mostly dark, with string lights hanging from the ceilings. An odd sort of incense was burning off in the corner, leaving a haze through all of the apartment that was visible.

"Kiyoko. It's been a while."

Kiyoko and Saya turned to see what appeared to be an elderly woman in a rocking chair, knitting a scarf. She looked like any ordinary human woman, if not a bit taller than the average one, but at the center of her forehead was an eye, closed at the moment.

The woman's dark, humanlike eyes met Saya's, and her third eye opening, revealing a single red iris.

The pupil dilated. Saya instantly felt violated, as though tiny hands were prying through her thoughts, which only made the chaos inside her mangled brain worse.

The satori woman collapsed, holding both of her ears, screaming. Blood dripped from her nose and onto the tatami mat floor, making a small puddle before her as she sobbed. " _Make it stop!_ " she wailed, writhing on the floor.

"Close your eye!" Kiyoko exclaimed. Hands shaking, she reached for her friend's forehead and slid the lid shut.

Immediately, the satori slumped against Kiyoko, breathing raggedly. "Why," she began, "did you bring one of  _her kind_  in here?"

"I'm sorry, I thought it would help her!"

"How the hell would someone with my condition be able to help her?" the satori asked. "All I can do is read minds, and her kind...it's so chaotic! There's so much!"

"So you can't reveal what happened to her? You can't maybe return her to a neutral state?"

The satori wiped tears from her third eye and, with help from Kiyoko, got back into her rocking chair. "Why do you want to help her?"

"I...recognize her."

Saya crossed her arms. "You recognize me?"

"I don't know if she's really you, but...I wanted more information before we talked about it. I swear, I don't like keeping secrets!" Kiyoko waved her hands frantically. "Please don't be angry with me!"

Saya fidgeted with her sleeves but said nothing. Thoughts of tonight, all the strange things that had happened tonight, began to click in her head.

" _It just...seems like you."_

Was Saya her true name after all? How did Kiyoko recognize her?

"Nothing can be done to turn her into a human again." The old woman reached for a long pipe and took a hit, blowing flowery smoke into the small space of the apartment. "But there is one resource I have that might help clear her mind, if that's what you're looking for."

"Anything."

The satori flickered a lamp on and set down her pipe. Hunched over, she rummaged through her drawers until she pulled out a rolled-up scroll.

"What you're looking for is an oni. Have you meet one before?"

Kiyoko shook her head.

"There's a tribe near here, in the mountains in the outside of the city. Every tribe has one oni blessed with the ability to reveal the truth in everything. This oni will feed your...friend...a truth serum and will analyze her. This will make her memories clear." The satori pointed toward a path on the scroll. "Follow this road. Carry a lamp, for the fog tends to be thick in those parts. It draws in various mononoke."

"Is there a specific lamp I should use?"

The satori reached beneath her desk and pulled out a paper lantern. "I only have one. Hopefully, being in the company of a kuchisake-onna will scare them off. But precautions are always good. If any mononoke obscure your path, lift the lantern, and it will scare them off. They hate the light."

"Kitsune?" Kiyoko asked.

"They do like to lure travelers in these parts. Tricky little foxes, they are. Don't trust their fires."

Kiyoko gave a polite bow. "Which oni are we looking for?"

"I'm not sure what name he goes by now, but he's quite old. He'll probably be of high rank at this point. Just be completely honest to the point of discomfort with the people of the mountain, and they'll grant you access. Even white lies will break their trust."

"Oni are that bad, huh?"

The satori shrugged. "I find them...tolerable, but their thoughts a bit loud for my tastes. Only liars should be afraid of them." She winked with one of her humanoid eyes. "It might be best to tell your friend the truth. The oni don't like secrets."

Kiyoko sighed. "Alright. I guess that can't be helped."

"Good luck. Now I must attend to my other duties."

Kiyoko and Saya bowed their way out, exiting the apartment through the same window they entered through.

* * *

 

Saya understood almost immediately what the satori had meant by being careful on their way to the oni commune, because the road toward the mountains was so foggy, she couldn't see her own hands before her face.

"I've studied this area before," Kiyoko said as they walked, holding Saya's hand as she led the way. "It's kitsune territory. They like to lure travelers to dangerous areas and kill them."

The monstrous part of Saya thought that was a terribly good idea for feeding her bloodlust, but she decided to remain silent instead.

"As long as we don't follow any lights, we should be okay," Kiyoko continued. Was she simply ignoring Saya's silence, or was she realizing that she was giving the kuchisake-onna ideas?

Either way, all Saya wanted to know was the truth. "How do you recognize me?"

Kiyoko's grip on her hand tightened. "I think...I'm the reason you became what you are."

"What do you mean?" Saya felt something furry brush against her ankle, but paid it no mind and simply hugged her coat closer to her body, as though the kitsune would take it from her.

"Do you...really not remember anything?" If Kiyoko was turning to look at her, Saya couldn't see her.

Saya shook her head, then realized she wasn't visible to the human. "No. I follow my bloodlust and hunger. That's it."

Kiyoko sighed, then stopped abruptly, holding up the paper lantern. "We're here."

The fog began to clear, and Saya found them facing an impossibly-long staircase, twisting up the mountain before them. "How did we get here so quickly?"

"It's not a human-made path." Kiyoko started up the stairs. "It's a path between visible realities, a sort of...portal, if you will. Traveling to the oni clan by foot by human paths would be near impossible and would take days, maybe weeks, if you don't get devoured on the way."

Saya snorted. "That's my job."

Kiyoko furrowed her brows and frowned. "Not anymore. Let's go find this oni."

Saya had never met oni before, but finding the proper one proved to be rather easy.

"We're looking for a Truth-Bearer for my kuchisake-onna friend," Kiyoko said before the keepers of the gate.

The two vivid red oni exchanged looks, then nodded. "Tryna give her some peace, eh?" the taller of the two asked.

"I'm hoping if she knows the truth of her existence, she might stop killing."

"Seems honest enough," the shorter oni said. "He'll be in the inn on the right."

And they opened the gate, just like that.

Even though the mountain village was covered in snow and had an almost somber haze over it, it seemed so...full of life. Colorful, horned men, women, and oni in between were drinking, smoking, sparring, and laughing everywhere. A snowball hit Saya on the back of her head, and she turned quickly to scold them.

It was a pink oni child, who held up his beefy hands in surrender. "Sorry!" he exclaimed before running off to catch up with his friends.

"They're such happy people," Kiyoko said, admiring the blissful scenery. "Come on, they said it was this way." And she practically dragged Saya over the ice and snow into the warm inn.

The oni, all crouched behind low, heated tables, all stared as they entered.

"Is that a human?" one had whispered, but not at all subtly.

"Who's the lady in the mask?"

"She's pretty cute."

"I'm looking for the Truth-Bearer," Kiyoko said, silencing the murmurs.

"That's me!" an oni man poked out from behind the bar, giving a wave. "What can I do for you ladies?"

He had an imposing stature, his skin a deep violet like the neon signs Saya had seen in her city, and intimidating muscles to his arms. Somehow, he cleaned a sake box delicately before setting it on the counter and pouring a milky liquid in it.

"Is that the truth serum?" Saya asked.

"Mixed with sake." He narrowed his eyes in examination, but not maliciously. "You're a kuchisake-onna, driven mad out of a disturbing death and resorting to killing those around you. If we find out the full story, it can set your soul free, and you can re-enter the reincarnation cycle. Of course, you won't be human your next go-around."

"Of course. I wouldn't want to be."

"Neither would I!" he emitted a booming laugh, echoing in the tavern. Some other oni laughed, even though Saya was sure they had no idea why they were laughing. "Have a seat, ladies. You may have a drink, too," he said then to the human.

They sat at the barstools, legs dangling, snow dripping off of their shoes, as they drank. The oni gave them some fried eel as a snack with their beverages, and Saya uncovered her mouth to devour them. It wasn't delicious like fresh blood, but it did help her hunger somewhat.

Suddenly, she dropped the sake box, spilling the remaining sake, and she collapsed on the ground. She heard screaming...was it what the satori had heard? Was it coming from her?

* * *

 

_Her name was Saya._

_She loved women._

_Her family would not allow it._

_A man._

_A husband._

_A man she did not want but was chosen by her family._

_He was rich. He gave her presents. They made emotionless love._

_A woman. Kiyoko. The scholar._

_They were scholars together._

_No wonder she wanted her to remember._

_The held hands under library tables._

_Studying deep in the night_

_Their hands touched other places beneath those tables, too._

_Scandalous. Secret. Shame._

_For years, no one knew of the love they shared._

_The man soon found out._

_He didn't want his women to love other women._

_It was unnatural._

_Dramatic snips on the side of her mouth._

_Sharpened scissors._

_One cut, two._

" _Who will find you beautiful now?"_

_He left her to die._

_And when she returned, she would never been the same._

" _Am I beautiful?"_

* * *

When Saya came back to consciousness, she gasped and reached for Kiyoko-who she now remembered as her previous lover.

"What happens now?"

"I know we can't be together. I'm sorry what happened to you, but...I can't let you wander the earth like this, suffering. I wanted to release your soul."

The oni helped Saya to her feet. "She speaks the truth. And now it is time for you to go."

Saya felt something rip out of her chest, the sensation of floating away. "Where will I go?"

"To the realm you belong in. You'll see her in your next life, I'm sure."

Saya's fingers brushed against Kiyoko's as she felt her soul lift up toward the ceiling of the tavern. The colorful oni waved as her soul split to a million pieces, the shards floating to the skies like tiny birds.

She had to find her again.

Never would she be tortured again.

And, most importantly, never would she torture others again.

 


End file.
